All over

So today was my last day ever of high school and sweet baby jesus I am so done! I've been thinking back over the past couple of years and everything that has molded me into who I am today and honestly don't regret things I have done, but wish I did let myself go a little more often. I guess the few times that I did let my hair down things went wrong, and so it made me feel as though I can't be that type of girl. This summer will be different though; I want to experience new things and maybe go a little out of my comfort zone sometimes. It has to be good for the soul to branch out, right? Even if I make some rather risky choices, they will be good learning experiences so that I can have myself under control in college. I don't want another boring summer, I have plenty of those under my belt. I just need to keep myself busy and do things that are actually fun instead of sitting at home all day every day eating more than my body can handle. I will spend some time reading in my eno and hanging out with the people that make my soul happy before going out to California. 

Here's to a crazy fun filled summer

xx

Say what you want

As much as I just want to sit here and say everything I've ever wanted to about you, I'm not going to because I never have. Never in the period of our friendship have I ever said anything back about you to anyone, and yes, I want to tell you all the wonderful things I've said and all the times I've stood up for you but honestly you don't deserve it right now. I love you, and yeah, I can be a bitch but I own up to it and never once have I totally flipped out on you. Maybe our definition of "best friends" is different but I thought I could come to you and tell you anything about anyone because you can do that with me. I'm not going to say I was totally wrong, but I guess you took it to heart since you have the same things in common with her. For about 10 minutes I was beyond upset, not sure what to do and unsure of what to say, but I've figured it out. You can send me all the mean things you want (well, you can't anymore), but I know myself better than you will ever know me. Try and tell me I need counseling, and that I'm the problem in all my friendships but honestly, I know when and what I've done wrong in my life. I'm a good person and do my best to be a great friend. You can't drag me down because something is bothering you because I am strong enough to pull myself back up. And yeah, maybe I don't have many friends but look at me, I'm totally comfortable with my life. So seldom do I ever complain about my lack of friendships so you can't try and throw that at me. And yes, I have had counseling, but I'm way beyond that and the fact that you suggested it to me says more about you. 

I can't stop you from what you do, what you say and who you hang out with, but I can stop you from saying the things you did. Not that I hope you plan to, but you can not contact me for a while. I have issues, and I am well aware of mine, but you just avoid yours by hooking up and being reckless. Being a teenager is no excuse because I know many of teenagers and they aren't like you. Stop making excuses and stop trying to "make me a better person" because you don't know what I need and honestly, I don't think you even know what you need.