Say hey, it's a snow day

As excited as everyone is about the snow, I find myself not on their level. Not much about my day differs from there being snow outside except the fact that the mall closed early so even if I got called in I didn't have to work, so that was a plus. While everyone was out playing in the snow taking pictures with their BFFs I took my kitten out to play for the first time in snow and she loved/hated it but she was cute and that is all that matters. And the fact that we don't have school tomorrow is eh, I'll just sit here and waste yet another night and push my homework of to tomorrow.. like I always do anyway. With my down time I have been looking at things I would want for my birthday. I already ordered part 1 of my gift from my dad and now looking for a part 2 is so hard, I mean choosing the duffel was painful enough. I would love nothing more than a shopping spree but we all know dad and he hates how much I shop in the first place so he would never feed the so called "addiction".

Meanwhile, I am texting my stepmom and I brought up the wedding and she asks me for my ideas and next thing I'm sending her like a layout of my ideas. I'm pretty sure I have put a ton more thought into this then she has at all. I have dress ideas, venues, colors, EVERYTHING.

I guess for the night I will watch Hart of Dixie, PLL, and do yearbook stuff. Yay for the life of an editor.

xoxo

Funny thing about that

To have your mother send out a mass text to 20 people about senior letters was to be expected. God forbid you didn't get as many letters are someone else, so instead you will beg for them. Not only are you asking way in advance but you are sending out a bragging text that fails to mention your failed friendships, incapability to forgive, the fact that your dad did most of your projects, and many other things. Also, the fact that it says you are "graduating with honors" you aren't even on the honor roll with the top 120 students but little does any one else know that. For your sake, you should just be glad that I am not walking at graduation otherwise some very rude words would be yelled after your name.

xoxo

Nothing but a heartbreak

Today was just another day, I was sitting in math and finishing some homework and decided to check my e-mail and there it was. Personally, I didn't know how to respond to it but my heart sure did. The tears filled up in my eyes and it took all of me to hold them back. I just don't understand how a father can keep his only daughter in the dark about a marriage proposal. Okay yeah, I get it, maybe you didn't know exactly when you were going to do it but wow you don't just bring a ring on a trip without clearly knowing you will be doing it within that week. Words can't even describe how I feel. A group e-mail was my way of finding out that I will have a step mom in the next year. Don't get me wrong, I love her and she is so wonderful but the matter of fact is that I DID NOT KNOW. It isn't like my dad and I haven't talked about this happening, we talked about it very often, so maybe that's why it hurt so much. And the feeling that he told my soon-to-be step brother first makes my stomach sick, but I won't know until the end of the week since ya know he has no cell service in Mexico and I don't plan on being very thorough with my e-mails to him. How about this dad, when I get accepted to college, I won't tell you right away and then, I will tell you in an e-mail. Granted, it isn't as big of news as yours but it'll just give you some indication of how I fell right about now. And to make matters worse, I had no one to call so I called my mom, and it made me feel horrible for having to tell her about this 1) over the phone and 2) while she still has the rest of the day at work. But I couldn't call my brothers for different reasons and then of course I can't call my dad for reasons which are already clear. But I needed someone to talk to other than my cat because that would just bring about phycological problems. I know I will get over it eventually, and it is probably best that I can't talk to my dad. I don't want to be the bitchy daughter who sucks all the fun out of the engagement but I also have 0 intentions of putting my feelings aside when they are so clearly hurt. So, to find a happy balance I must give it some time for all my anger and betrayal feelings to go away so that I can figure out why I am actually so distraught about this. Maybe it is because I am fearful of loosing time with my dad once more. Before he and my mom separated, we never spent any time together and I remember he telling me how much more time we were going to spend together because he wasn't going to coach football anymore and he would have time to spend with me and well that lasted like a couple months. Then he started dating Robin and here we are now. I get that I am getting older but dammit that doesn't mean I don't want to go out shopping with my dad without him pointing out things he could buy Robin, or eating dinner while he is texting her, this isn't a high school relationship. Only time will tell how this will all play out, at this rate I probably won't be invited to the wedding and they will just elope and let me know about it over e-mail but who knows.

xoxo

See how this goes

So tomorrow will be the start of something new. Believe it or not there is this little (actually life changing) this called Keto and this chick is giving it a try. It is pretty much cutting out Carbs (not totally but most of the way) and eating tons of Fats and Protein. Because I decided to give this a try I am eating meat once more, which will make me eat better it itself because I've been beyond lazy and haven't been cooking any fish. On top of the Keto eating, (which isn't a diet it is a change of way as they always say), I will be working out HARD CORE. Well, hard core for a girl. I will be ordering myself this little log book thing that is super cute and getting a solid work out bag for my birthday so that I have no choice but to go right after school and after church and whenever. On the down side, I have to work today which I am dreading so much. If it wasn't for my stupid work studies class I would not be in retail anymore because it is a big pain - in - the - ass. People are rude and snotty and ugh. Plus, the hours and the pay suck. Hoping to take on babysitting Tuesday - Friday and make some real money for college stuff and all that jazz. I'm thinking that I will hear from my schools by the end of the week too so that I can get that under control and all settled. Now, I just need to plan another trip to California, decided where I want to go this summer with my dad and then propose a trip to my mom as well... woohoo. 

xoxo